


to cross a bridge

by AmyLerajie



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Friendship/Love, M/M, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 20:32:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10794255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyLerajie/pseuds/AmyLerajie
Summary: Two months in a relationship shouldn't make anyone feel so anguished, but, for Prompto, too much happiness equals to a never ending fear of loosing everything that makes him happy.





	to cross a bridge

There is something oddly crushing about separating from Noctis on the way home.

They don't live very far from each other, but the main square is in the middle point between their homes and, at first, it has been convenient. When things changed between them, Noctis didn't ask for it to change and Prompto was too much head over heels enthusiastic to care. There were too many things going on at one time and he was too happy, too incredulous of his own luck to notice.

But then was almost two months ago and now is when he acknowledges how he is unable to walk home without his hands feeling emptied of something important.

It's odd. It's like something is supposed to be there and he can almost sense it, yet a quick glance at his fingers is enough to see that he isn't holding anything.

All things considered, he should deem himself lucky and stop thinking altogether. After all, he -a vile peasant- is going out, getting dates, having a relationship with a Prince. A beautiful and dorky prince, who has been his best friend for a whole year and a half before this went all out of hand.

To be fair, he feels lucky. He feels worthless, he knows that, one day or another, Noctis will see how plain and risible and useless he is, but he doesn't care. Not always.

It hurts, when he lays in his bed, in the silence of the night, staring at his phone, at the last message Noctis sent. Rarely a _good night_ , because the prince has the ability of falling asleep at any time and anywhere and Prompto finds it so incredibly cute that he doesn't even care he doesn't have what couples can argue for hours on.

Noctis' texts are mostly kittens or stupid stuff or videos on video games they both play for fun, when someone can glitch the heck out of them, instead.

Noctis is fascinated by them. It makes Prompto smile, because the prince has this side, too and he shows it to him alone. It makes Prompto feels special.

Still, he can't help but over think, sometimes. On how he should just be the comic relief and the goofy friend and, yet, somehow, they got here. _Here_ is a place Prompto wanted to be and yet it's too scary, sometimes, to think about how all is doomed inevitably to end.

In the beginning, he was too rash, too happy. It had been just a coincidence. An accident.

It happened in the middle of the Golden Week, finally free from homework and classes and with nothing to do aside from eating an unhealthy amount of junk food while playing video games. They had been playing all day long and it was four in the morning.   
It was sugar-induced and sleep-deprived and stupid. Selfish, even, but Prompto had been trembling for the sugar high and giggling when he suggested being a couple. A pair, more precisely.

Suddenly, the trembling stopped and he froze, caught by his own words.

It was an accident. Yet Noctis continued to play and just nodded, cheeks pink. Prompto could feel his own face burning and asked again. And again. And again, four times, just to be sure.

Noctis held his hand that night and so it began.

It's not perfect.

Honestly, Prompto is happy with how the things are, he really is. But sometimes he wishes he could be more romantic. He bought a single flower, once, but it felt cheesy and too far from what they really are.

The problem is that everything romantic is extremely weird and feels like fake, between them, even though they still act like a couple.

Noctis loves to hold is hand and walk very close to Prompto. It was weird, at first, but now it's only natural to lace his fingers to his and walk at the same pace, doing some weird dance moves when one or the other stops abruptly.

It's routine, like it was always meant to be like that, like friends was just a step in the right direction and the goal was finally reached.

They kiss. Noctis is not a great fan of kisses, he tends to nuzzle his shoulder and hide there a lot more and their first kiss was Prompto's achievement, but they kiss. Noctis is shy and it's when he is sleepy and in complete darkness that he kisses Prompto. He's sloppy, but it's endearing how he searches for his lips with his fingertips first, mapping the blond's whole face before even reaching for them.

“It's weird, I thought I would feel your freckles.” he says, like an excuse to wander longer on Prompto's burning skin.

Sometimes he asks what they are supposed to read and Noctis answers something almost rude, although in a tone that lacks any malice. It's fun and it's almost like they were still friends, but they kiss and they are no more.

Still, their relationship looks an awful lot like that of best friends and Prompto counts the hours and the days that end without Noctis noticing how bad and worthless he is and wanting to revert to just friends, maybe even just acquaintances.

It's weird, because right now he is so happy, yet so terrified. Noctis is the most important person in the world, for him, always was, but now they are not friends anymore and Prompto notices things that he didn't know were there.

Like how unbelievably crushing is Noctis absence, right there, in his empty hand, ten minutes after separating in the main square. Noctis kissed him, at the end of the date -they went to the arcades and he won a little round fish monster and the prince looked so elated he had to took a picture- and let go of his hand. He turned around and Prompto simply stared at his shoulders disappearing in the crowd, feeling sad.

It's weird, because it's really nothing special. Yet he is glad that his cellphone is a little warm, as it's presence reminds him of the hand he held. Prompto's head is spinning, dizzy and he stops walking, looking for a place to sit down without getting his uniform dirty.

He has homework to do and laundry and he needs several things from the store, before going home, but he misses his boyfriend. The more time he spends with Noctis, the more he misses him when they are apart.

It's not a friend thing and it's not really new. His feelings for the prince are nothing new. It was respect and curiosity and then friendship, but it's just an evolution of a feeling that Prompto is so used to have, that it's just funny to think that there was a time in his life when Noctis wasn't there.

Just how much will his heart break, when Noctis will notice that he's not worth it?

_“Miss you already!”_ he types, his hands trembling, adding a series of winky faces to cover the fact he can hardly breathe.

It's just a moment, it will pass, like it always does.

It's just the realization hitting him. He never felt this way. He never thought of how much he wanted time to stretch or a smell to linger more. He never thought of how much he liked the softness of a skin or the tickling of a breath on his neck.

He knows what it means, every time, yet every time he forces himself to stop thinking before the thought can even complete itself. He can breath, that way, wishing softly that they can have until the end of the week, or the month or, if it's a good day, even until they graduate.

It's not like it's forever.

His phone buzzes.

_“Can't wait 'till the weekend.”_ Prompto reads, smiling through the dead weight pushing on his rib cage.

It's not like it will be forever.

But, as Prompto finally breathes and manages to take some steps forward, it can be until the end of the week.

_“What's the plan?”_

A weekend of games and junk food, almost like friends. Sleeping together, being used like a pillow and feeling stupid the day after, when his t-shirt smells of Noctis shampoo and he can't help but pulling it close and missing him. Sleeping together, Noctis curled on his side, both of his hands in his as he softly speaks of his worries. Friends do this, right?

Prompto goes to deny their relationship, sometimes, because it hurts less. So that, the day that Noctis decides he's not worth of his affection, it will feel like nothing really changed.

His phone buzzes as he comes home and he takes the time to hope for something, just for a moment, for anything, really.

He takes off his shoes and leaves his bag on the floor at the entrance and as he walks in the kitchen he remembers that all that food that he has is milk and cereal, because he forgot to buy some groceries.

Not that he was that hungry, anyway.

The phone on the table buzzes again and he can't help but resume to hope.

Prompto mostly lets things happen and watches his life as it folds in front of his eyes.

It's a coincidence that he took a risk. It's a coincidence it went better than expected.

He's not a positive person, despite the happiness he shows. He likes to make people laugh and he treasure the happiness of few, but he's scared of his own.

Prompto's happiness is something quaint and unknown.

He goes to his room and sprawls on the bed, phone still clutched on his hand. He should read the texts. He should prepare to say something really stupid or funny or both.

_“I was thinking about movies and take away.”_

And then.

_“I know it's nothing fancy, but you got a pauper prince as a boyfriend, sorry.”_

Prompto chuckles, he can't help it. He likes the sound of it.

Boyfriend, movies and take away. Nothing fancy. But it's something that suits them, that sounds like the way they are. Nothing fancy, still special.

Not friends.

Another text bubble, just under the last one.

_“I will work harder to get you something for out three months together, I swear.”_

It's not like it will be forever.

But, as Prompto curls on his side, the phone in his trembling hand -not empty, not missing anything- he can hope that it will.

After all, he loves his pauper prince very much.

 

 


End file.
